Sep 13, 2011
As the oldest of three boys, I grew up calling the shots. Whether it was Legos,
G.I. Joe, or He-man, whether we were going to pull a prank on the neighbor or
sneaking on to the roof, I was the lead man. I was Hannibal and they were my A-Team.
This behavior, as it does with many oldest children, translated from childhood into
adolescence and then into adulthood. My adolescence was filled with me roping many
of my friends into making some pretty dumb decisions. I recall one night pulling
the red Ford Topaz back into my parents driveway at 3am, after “stealing” it for a
couple of hours. The friend in the passenger seat literally burst into tears as the
headlights shined brightly on a half naked, very confused father of mine.
We were fourteen and grounded.
:
When it comes to the Gospel, Jesus makes it very clear to me that following Him
is fundamental. When I decided to follow Jesus, I relinquished the lead role to Him.
This is ridiculously hard for me. The reality is, I am a “follower” who follows
only part time, for fear of what Jesus might ask me to do. And I’ve figured out
ways to make myself feel like a full time follower, so that I can continue leading
as I do.
:
Here are just a few of the mechanisms that I’ve invented.
Give me some options (most common for me)
Jesus: “Follow me.”
Me: “Okay. Can you give me some options and let me pick one?”
Jesus: “But, that would make you in charge. Just trust me.”
Me: “What did you say Jesus? I’m busy praying about my options.”
Well at least I’m not as bad as “them”
Jesus: “Follow me.”
Me: “Sure thing Jesus, you want me to change the world for your Glory, right?”
Jesus: “Well, sure, but I just need you to trust me with whatever I ask you to do.”
Me: “What did you say Jesus? I’m busy praying for all the sad sad pagans not doing your will.”
Give me a sign, Jesus!
Jesus: “Follow me.”
Me: “I’m all over it Jesus. Now if you could just make it real clear for me.”
Jesus: “I need you to step out into the darkness. Trust me, I’m right here.”
Me: “What did you say Jesus? I’m staring at the Sun waiting for it to dance.”
:
Whether you are the oldest in your family or not, chances are some of these
mechanisms probably sound familiar. Chances are, just like me, you are scared
to death of what Jesus might ask you to do. In my heart of hearts I really want
to trust. I really want to obey. But, I choose to just “get by” on my own. I
convince myself that I’m doing God’s will, but I am really just doing my will
with some Godly sweet and low (or stevia for you healthy types).
:
Lord, help me to trust you more. I know that you have my best interest in mind,
because you are my Father. Please teach me how to follow you.
